Athletics

Learning Even in a Losing Cause
The life lessons learned through participation in athletic competition are held in high regard by current and former athletes. Particularly beneficial is the experience of working cooperatively toward a common purpose in a close knit group, the values of team work, and the development of the concept of fair play.

While the Board of Education takes great pride in winning, it does not condone "winning at any cost," and discourages any and all pressures which might tend to neglect good sportsmanship and good mental health. At all times, the athletic program must be conducted in such a way as to justify it as an educational activity.

The educational side of athletics is to help students benefit from the lessons learned through participation. While winning is usually more fun, the lessons learned from losing are often beneficial.

Parents can help athletes learn from their losses by:

Moving from the Loser's Column		To the Winner's Column
Blaming		Crediting
	- the coach - other players - officiating		- the other team - players on the other team
Focusing too long on errors/mistakes		Focusing on what might be improved next time
			- by my athlete - by the team
What didn't work		What did work
Bemoaning the loss		Giving one's best effort
Denial and anger		Acceptance and move on

Learning the Life-LongLessons of Winning
In winning as in losing, the long-range value of the experience is promoted under certain conditions. An undue emphasis on winning can easily leave the false impression with student athletes that their athletic activity has value ONLY if the competition results in a "win." A winning-is-everything approach leads directly to unsportsmanlike behavior and to cheating, and translates to unacceptable ethics and life-long values. In an educational setting, we emphasize preparing in a fashion to be competitive, and we focus on doing our best.

Often, though certainly not always, sound preparation and focusing on doing our best results in winning the contest. However, the experience of winning carries an enhanced value if parents can help students, even in winning, FOCUS on the efforts and strategies, both by individuals and by the team, that resulted in the win.

Parents can help athletes learn the real value of winning by:

• Offering congratulations for winning AND identifying and discussing the efforts made by individuals and by the team.
• Rewarding the winning efforts AND rewarding the growth in individuals and in the team ‹ the growth that contributed to the win.
• Emphasizing competitiveness
• Emphasize doing your best.

Keeping Parent Support in Perspective
All parents should be proud parents. All parents should be advocates for their children. All parents should help and encourage their children to pursue their potential. When these important parental attributes are taken to extreme, however, athletes can miss important life learning, and miss significant growth opportunities. Unfortunately, we have all seen parents who seem satisfied only when their athlete is starring and/or winning. Apparently trying to relive their own life through the life of their athlete, some parents seem to have difficulty maintaining perspective.

Supporting students athletes, even though one may disagree with the coaches' judgement, regarding playing time and level or position placement, is an important parent role. (However, challenging the coaches' judgement regarding playing time or selection which is his/her assigned role, is not appropriate). Supporting the athlete in the pursuit of improved skills or alternate interests is the appropriate parent role.

Balance is the key. Maintaining a balanced perspective between savoring the possibility of one's student athlete becoming a professional athlete, and a realistic assessment of skills and possibilities. Keeping a balance between protecting one's athlete from adverse events and helping a student athlete learn from the lessons of adversity. The balance between blindly defending one's athlete when assessments seem unfair and helping a student athlete learn to view circumstances from an outside perspective. Balance between blaming others and accepting responsibility. Balance between holding onto perceived injustices and moving forward positively.

Being a supporting parent is a complex business. The athletic skill of balance is appropriately applied here, too.